Blog, Games


So here we are, on the eve of what Blizzard would want to call their latest, if not greatest, accomplishment. Streamlined gameplay, player garrisons, a host of “quality of life improvements” and another fabulous 10 levels of storyline questing. Great, right?

I just cancelled my sub.

No, I’m not one of the Vanilla Mafia here to shout about how “the game was better” way back when. I’m not even any elite raider whinging about how they are dumbing the game down and targeting the casual play. (Funny that as most subscription paying gamers usually need to devote at least part of their week earning an income in order to afford their game…) I do believe Blizzard have made major strides forward with each expansion in their efforts to strike a balance between those who are time rich and those who just want a damn fun game.

So why am I leaving then? Because they smacked my dwarf in the face with a piece of heavy timber. Or at least that’s how it appears after she has been put back together after being ground through their new character model disfiguring machine.

For months now a slow drip of developer artwork has been teasing us with these new models. Such a tantalizing idea for a game nearing it’s 10th anniversary and much in need of a graphical botox treatment, and indeed the humans and orcs seem to have made out alright. After those two fundamentally core races though we’re left with (amongst others…) a meagre 4 female faces and a pack of very angry looking gnomes. What’s wrong, little gnome? Did someone steal your sweetroll? “My, you’re a tall one!…and I’ll kill you in your sleep for it!” Yeah, not a good look for a gnome.

But my dwarf. My poor, poor dwarf. Allow me to share a before and after shot so you can appreciate what I mean…



And the dreaded after:


She’s gone from looking reasonable curvy/smexy to “you should have left the brawlers guild after the first dozen losses.” With 6 faces to choose from (yes, that’s a whole 2 more than some races got!) you’d think I’d have at least some chance of making a decent looking toon. And yes, there is 1 that might pass as only slightly less ugly than the male dwarves, but that isn’t the point. I can’t make ANYTHING at all that actually looks like MY dwarf.

The crux of the matter is that while Blizzard and other MMO providers want you to bond with your character to the point where you’ll happily fork over £9.99 a month (Yes, Warcraft subs go up with the new expansion.) they also state in the fine print of their many EULAs that they have the right to remove, change or disfigure them at any time they like. As my hubby recently pointed out, the risk you run while playing an MMO is that the developer can, and most likely will, at anytime, change the game you love into something unrecognisable. Much like my poor dwarf.

So rest in peace little Inaya. I’ll alway remember the good times we’ve shared. The battlegrounds we (mostly) lost. And that time a male Night Elf asked if she could eat you out because he’d never seen a female dwarf before.

Sadly, in all their new expansion improvements, Blizz have yet to nuke Goldshire.